I’m sorry I beheld you like a painting
I’m sorry I never held you like a person
I’m sorry I couldn’t complete the story you started writing as a boy
About the child inside a whale
I’m sorry I couldn’t finish your tale
About the girl cradled in an orange rind
I’m sorry I could not be the story
Of your woman of glory…
I just failed to find
Where you ended and I began
So I ran…
I tried to recall the rhyme our bodies made
As we laid under the setting moon
And you hummed the tune
Of an old cartoon
Your whispers made me weak
Your words set me free
Under a star-filled canopy
Love appeared to me
In the shade of a tree
The poetry in our sighs
Could’ve won a Nobel prize
Your three fingers on my thigh
In the form a C chord -
A Grammy award
Our friction wrote a dictionary
You made me feel less ordinary
You were my best
And I still believe your chest
Was made to fit my cheek
But now we don’t even speak
You left before the week
Was over
The four-leafed clover
That I found in my hair
Never warned me it was to be a rebound affair
I was cheated out of luck
In the end it was just
To help you pretend
That the woman you went home to
Hadn’t forgotten how to love you
But in trying to erase
The pain you still had to face
You hurt me instead
Well, you’re still in my head
You’re on my lips, my tongue, my hips
I’ve washed, I’ve scrubbed, I’ve shaved
But I still crave your hands, your smile
You made my life worthwhile
The memory of your breath
Has made me blind
Now all I have is death on my mind
Unabridged
On a bridge
I stare at the cars below
I dare myself to swallow
My pointless expectation
I feel a sense of elation
As my feet leave the foundation
I lift my empty hands to the sky
I’m done asking why
I just wish I could’ve known
A little more about you
It might have helped me live
A life without you
I didn’t mean
To weep into your tea
I just wanted a piece of me
Inside you
I not quite sure why
I cried into your stir-fry
Maybe it was dry
And needed salt
It’s not my fault
I didn’t mean to wail
Into your ice-cream
And share my dreams
With a frozen milk dessert
But do you know
How much hurts
Everytime I think if Key Lime pie?
And how you said goodbye
Between bites
Its not right
But I can’t untie
Your noose from around my neck
And god knows I’ve tried
Not to think
About having anything to drink
I’ve tried to go off food
But it doesn’t do me any good
You made me feel less ordinary
Your caresses were legendary
You were the cherry
On top of my Sundae
But I guess I always knew
You’d leave someday
Its true – I always bite off
More than I can chew
I choose you
To be the casserole
Of my soul
I wanna take our lovin’
And stick it in the oven
And turn it up to 220 degrees
Cover it in cheese
And let it bake
I want it to get stuck between you teeth
Show up as a chocolate beneath
You pillow
And watch you grow
Kilo by kilo
Die skok veroorsaak
Dat ek jou skielike skuld erkenning in asem
En agter my tande betrap
En tussen my wange vasvang
Ek het mos vroeg geleer
Om die tekens te ignoreer
En jou leuens te glo
Ek was vir te lank geneig
Om an jou valsheid soos ‘n stokkielekker te suig
Jou bloeiende, blootstellende geheim
Begin teen my tong en my tande vas te roes
So taai soos toffie, bitter soos moerkoffie
Bind dit my antwoord an my verhemelte vas
Die spoeg op my lippe
Is besmet met jou verraad
En jou patetiese verskonings
Van “so jammer” en “te min praat”
Terwyl jy ‘n tree terug trap
En voor jy my oë kan vergeet
Vat ek ‘n laaste hap
Ek sluk ons geskiedenis in
Met my kop tussen my knee
En die smaak van gal in my keel
Val die naarheid my oor
My braking onderbreek die stilte
En die teerpad word verkleur
Met ons verrotende liefde
Jy lat my dink an fynbos en heuning
Ek voel jou in my spiere se spanning.
In die spasies tussen my kinderdae
En die masker wat ek deesdae dra
Skenk jy vir my ‘n kussing
###
Geen storie uit my hede
Sal so vassit in my verlede
Soos daai onverwagte toneel
Toe ek en jy laatoggend ‘n tafel deel
My woorde sit vas in my keel
Terwyl ons oë soos kinders hande vat
En met mekaar speel
###
As ek my hande saamvou om te bid
Bly jou hitte tussen my palms vas sit
My naels stempel sekels in my kneukels
Soos ek die vlamme probeer dooddruk
En begin an my gebed verstik
###
Droog en skaamteloos soos ‘n woestyn
Het ek geraamteloos verdwyn
Agter jou hunkerende oe
En voel teselletyd
Hoe die holte en die oorloop
Van ‘n leeftyd se hoop en verlang
Jou skielik vang
En ek raak verloore
Tussen die miriade woorde wat jy nie verby
Jou lippe kan kry
###
Om na jou woorde te luister
Voel soos die sagte fluister
Van ‘n somerrok se satyn
Teen my verlangende vel
###
‘n Eggo van jou naam
Vibreer in my geraamte
As ek my arms om my vou
Of an die binneste van my wang begin kou
###
Jou glimlag sit nog vas an my mou
En jou woorde basyn soos ‘n luiende kerk klok deur my borskas
‘n Fragment van jou fluister sit nog vas tussen my tone
###
Toe ek vir die eerste keer sien
Hoe die maanlig in jou oë skyn
Het die dogtertjie in my se vrese verdwyn
###
Sal ek virewig ‘n bloeisel bly in jou geue
Tot jy die dag besluit om my gesig
Uit jou lewens gedig uit te vee?
###
Jy vlek my in stemme van ‘n kinder koor
En verf my die kleur van ‘n engel se vlerk
Jy het jou merk in my murg gelos
###
Hoe is ek ver onderstel om jou te vergeet?
Ek het per ongeluk ‘n paar van jou sinne geslik
En het klaar an meeste van jou woorde begin kou
En an jou leuns begin verstik
###
Die swaartekrag in jou oë
Skep golwe in my trane
Die weer klink van jou woede word vasgevang
In die dimpel op my regter wang
###
I found her sitting motionless. Like a rock in the wind.
I didn’t look forward to seeing her again. But I went to her because I knew she was suffering. I also knew only I could alleviate it, albeit temporarily. Getting to her was like walking though a maze. But I could always smell their skin for kilometers.
